day 12 - when you can't fix it
Ive been thinking some more about what I said yesterday - that feeling of being a bit overwhelemd by all the difficulty and sadness and struggle in the lives of so many people I know. And I've come to the conclusion that the reason I feel like that is because I cant fix it.
I like to be able to fix things. Im quite good at fixing things. If people come to me with a problem Im always the first person to be offering a solution. Im good at seeing what needs to be done and doing it. My spiritual gifts include the gift of exhortation - and I like nothing better than to encourage someone by offering practical help or sound advice.
But sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just cant help. Situations require more than we can give or need miracles.
I can't sort out someone's difficult work relationship or solve the longstanding family feud. I cant cure my friend's chronic brittle diabetes or fix my two friends chronic back problems. I've prayed and prayed some more, but they are still in lots of pain all the time. I can't bring back people who have died or resolve the issus that bereavements have caused in families. I'd love to be able to do that. But I cant.
And that's why I was feeling overwhelmed yesterday. It wasnt really about the situations in themselves, it was about my response to those situations. I just dont cope well with not being able to make a difference or be useful. This is the downside to being an ' exhorter'. Exhorters thrive on being able to change things for the better. We love nothing more than to put a smile on people's faces and make them feel better. But sometimes ( quite often in fact) you just cant do that. And its tough.
So what do we do when we can't make things better for people? How do we stay beside those who are struggling and not become overwhelmed ourselves by the intransigence and impossibiity of the situation? How can we be encouraging without being patronising and offering platitudes to people who have doubtless heard them all before? I wonder what Jesus did. We have no record of Him healing anyone in the first 30 years of His life, but He most assuredly came across sick people all the time during those years. Did he walk past them and ignore thm because ' His time had not yet come' ? I suspect not. I suspect He talked to them, spent time, came alongside to support and encourage and reassure and comfort. I suspect He told people that God was good and hadnt forgotten them, that their healing was coming. I suspect He prayed with and for people and told stories and parables to help them understand what was happening. I suspect He gave people presents and hugs and made them laugh. Im speculating. The Bible doesnt tell us any of this. But if Jesus is the same yesterday today and forever, then He was always the compassionate, radically kind, loving saviour we know Him to be. Even before God released Him into His miraculous ministy at age 30. He must have found it SO frustrating not to be able to meet every need He came across. I wonder if He too sometimes felt a bit overwhelmed by the extent of the need and the fact that He couldnt fix everyone.
Lord, help me to turn to you when I can't help someone I want to help, heal someone who is ill, fix a problem that is causing someone stress. Help me not to selfishly focus on myself but listen to You in case You have anything You want to tell me about how to better bless, comfort and encourage those who are going through hard times. Help me to remember that sometimes its the smallest gestures which can shine a light into dark places. Bless all my friends who are sick, stressed or struggling. May they know Your peace this Christmas. Bring them the hope, encouragement and comfort they need as they wait for Your radical intervention in their lives.
I like to be able to fix things. Im quite good at fixing things. If people come to me with a problem Im always the first person to be offering a solution. Im good at seeing what needs to be done and doing it. My spiritual gifts include the gift of exhortation - and I like nothing better than to encourage someone by offering practical help or sound advice.
But sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just cant help. Situations require more than we can give or need miracles.
I can't sort out someone's difficult work relationship or solve the longstanding family feud. I cant cure my friend's chronic brittle diabetes or fix my two friends chronic back problems. I've prayed and prayed some more, but they are still in lots of pain all the time. I can't bring back people who have died or resolve the issus that bereavements have caused in families. I'd love to be able to do that. But I cant.And that's why I was feeling overwhelmed yesterday. It wasnt really about the situations in themselves, it was about my response to those situations. I just dont cope well with not being able to make a difference or be useful. This is the downside to being an ' exhorter'. Exhorters thrive on being able to change things for the better. We love nothing more than to put a smile on people's faces and make them feel better. But sometimes ( quite often in fact) you just cant do that. And its tough.
So what do we do when we can't make things better for people? How do we stay beside those who are struggling and not become overwhelmed ourselves by the intransigence and impossibiity of the situation? How can we be encouraging without being patronising and offering platitudes to people who have doubtless heard them all before? I wonder what Jesus did. We have no record of Him healing anyone in the first 30 years of His life, but He most assuredly came across sick people all the time during those years. Did he walk past them and ignore thm because ' His time had not yet come' ? I suspect not. I suspect He talked to them, spent time, came alongside to support and encourage and reassure and comfort. I suspect He told people that God was good and hadnt forgotten them, that their healing was coming. I suspect He prayed with and for people and told stories and parables to help them understand what was happening. I suspect He gave people presents and hugs and made them laugh. Im speculating. The Bible doesnt tell us any of this. But if Jesus is the same yesterday today and forever, then He was always the compassionate, radically kind, loving saviour we know Him to be. Even before God released Him into His miraculous ministy at age 30. He must have found it SO frustrating not to be able to meet every need He came across. I wonder if He too sometimes felt a bit overwhelmed by the extent of the need and the fact that He couldnt fix everyone.
Lord, help me to turn to you when I can't help someone I want to help, heal someone who is ill, fix a problem that is causing someone stress. Help me not to selfishly focus on myself but listen to You in case You have anything You want to tell me about how to better bless, comfort and encourage those who are going through hard times. Help me to remember that sometimes its the smallest gestures which can shine a light into dark places. Bless all my friends who are sick, stressed or struggling. May they know Your peace this Christmas. Bring them the hope, encouragement and comfort they need as they wait for Your radical intervention in their lives.
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